


You made that bed you're laying on

by seven league boots (memphis)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Garrison flashbacks, Keith and Lance are captured by the Galra trope, Lotor is essentially space Draco Malfoy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-canon Lotor, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Seriously this is completely non-canon compliant Lotor written before S3 trailers, Shiro is back shhhh don't look nothing happened nothing to see here, Temporary Character Paralysis, Truth Serum, drugged Keith, homophobia trigger warning (?), mentions of past homophobic encounters, non-canon, slightly hinted at shallura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11680812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memphis/pseuds/seven%20league%20boots
Summary: Keith kicks off a rather bad day by getting kidnapped by Galra loyalists, tasered until he can't move, and doped up with space truth serum that makes him babble non-stop about his history with the Garrison and how he formed his big ol' crush on Lance.It's probably not the juicy intel Prince Lotor was hoping for, but it's all he's gonna get.





	1. the one where Lotor is a jerkbaby space Draco Malfoy

**Author's Note:**

> I am using my own headcanons for Lance and Keith's backstories/origins/family histories. They are 100% completely self indulgent and an excuse to reference songs that I like. I also know my interpretation of Lotor may also be completely off but this was started way before season three trailers showed up, I'm just slow as heck.
> 
> Special thanks to my dearest Twinstar, fourfreedoms for being my beta and indulging me in writing parties at many a tea café between Brooklyn and Queens. She is the best.
> 
> UPDATE: Ohhh my gosh, there is some [simply gorgeous artwork here](https://spiteaesthetics.tumblr.com/post/170412181895/mooneyes-messing-with-ps-cc-brushes-and-stuff), and [it's even better in full quality](https://spiteaesthetics.tumblr.com/image/170412181895), made by [spiteaesthetics](https://spiteaesthetics.tumblr.com) on tumblr, please check it out and tell them how very lovely!

It was supposed to be a quick mission to the Rodga nebula. _There never really are things such as 'quick' missions_ , Keith muses.

A tip-off from a member of the Blade of Marmora suggested to the team that Zarkon's loyalists were setting up a base of operations there on an asteroid belt. All they had to do was get in and out, so they sent Keith in Red and Lance in Blue, both had the speed and agility necessary.

None of them expect the loyalists to have a new sonic weapon to disrupt their cloaking technology. Blue is caught first, pulled into the Galra outpost within moments via tractor beam. Keith can't even raise Lance on the comms, though he can outmaneuver the ships. It only takes Keith a few seconds to send out the distress signal back to the castle-ship.

Shiro is immediately on the comm. "Keith! Allura will open a wormhole and you can–"

"You get the others to the coordinates I'm sending. I'll stay and look for an opportunity to infiltrate," Keith says as he reactivates Red's cloaking.

"Keith, I really don't think–"

"They have Lance," Keith bites the inside of his mouth, "And Blue. We can't form Voltron until we get them–ow!" Keith screams as pain runs electric shocks all over his body.

It's familiar.

 

**

 

Part of Garrison training involved self-defense and military resistance classes. When his class was learning how to use a taser, Keith stupidly volunteered to be part of the "controlled exposure" as they called it.

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, limbs heavy as bricks and a stinging feeling like he'd been slapped across the face, instead it was his _entire_ body. Keith may or may not have cried, but there was definitely some kind of fluid–maybe it was sweat or drool–pooling around his face.

No one else in his class volunteered to go next.

When Keith finally regained control of his arms and legs and could limp back to his quarters, Shiro hadn't been too happy with him, and lectured him pretty hard even though he allowed him to moan on the couch in Shiro and Matt's shared dorm. Matt gave him an entire sleeve of thin mints and found a Twin Peaks marathon for him to watch on TV.

The next day when Keith was asked to speak to his classmates about the effectiveness of using tasers to suppress an enemy combatant, his only response was: "Yeah it's effective as _fuck_ , sir."

 

**

 

_So the Galra have another new weapon, wonderful. Pretty sure I don't get cookies and David Lynch this time._ Keith thinks as he feels his muscles lock up in pain and he starts to fade in and out of consciousness. He barely has time to act, but he uses the last of his free mobility to grab his bayard and force it close it to his body, hoping it will catch to the magnetic holds on his paladin armor.

Keith sees the readout on Red's screens before his eyes slip shut. It's some kind of electric webbing able to penetrate the Lion's defenses and effectively taser him from the inside. His screens are flickering, the weapon is shorting them out.

Keith hears Shiro, joined by the voices of the other paladins screaming over the comm for him before everything goes black.

 

**

 

Keith wakes up with a pounding headache, as he's being half-carried by two Galra sentries through the now familiar purple-lit corridor of a Galra base. _Great, must have hit my head–but I was wearing my helmet. I'm not now. Ugh. Everything is terrible. My mouth tastes like blood. Fuck tasers._

The sentries turn a corner and another Galra joins them. This one is dressed differently from druids or the war generals Keith has encountered in the past. They are holding something that looks like a small silver gun, and reading information off of a tablet. Keith smells something kind of sterile, antiseptic, and their clothes are lighter in color. A science officer, or maybe a medical technician?

"Ah, the Red paladin is awake now. Stop him here," the Galra says, and presses the barrel of the small weapon against Keith's neck. It's cold, and Keith feels the small pinch of a needle and a head-swimming rush that accompanies being drugged with whatever the hell they've just shot him with. The sentries resume walking him alongside the Galra officer.

Keith breathes out in frustration. He's feeling warm, loopy, his tongue is suddenly feeling like it's too big for his mouth and...

Keith shakes his head. No, no way. He's getting another flashback to his self-defense classes at the Garrison, and Iverson ranting about sodium pentathol that he was injected with as a soldier. But Keith clearly remembers him saying that it didn't actually work, and it could never be proven in court that he fired on civilians. But damn, his mouth feels really heavy, like it's not working right.

"My mouth doesn't work right," Keith mumbles. "Too heavy."

"Excellent, he'll be pleased that it's already working." The Galra claps their hands as they open the doors to the next room.

There's a long table in the middle, and sitting at one end eating what looks like some kind of fancy meat dish is definitely a Galra higher-up, Keith can tell from the uniform and the cape.

This one has pointed elf-like ears, long white hair. His eyes don't glow gold, but he's definitely Galra. There are two other high-backed chairs on the other end of the table, two place settings in front of them, but Keith can't see if they're occupied.

Keith is walked around to the seat on the right, as the caped Galra laughs at something funny his guest on the left side of the two seats has said.

And then his attention falls on Keith.

With a vicious gleam in his eyes, he wipes his mouth daintily with a napkin and stands. "So glad you could join us, Red Paladin," he gives a slight bow at the waist. "I am Prince Lotor, son of Emperor Zarkon, heir to the glorious Galra Empire. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Keith sneers. "S'not mutual, stupid pointy ears," he says through the lumpy feeling in his mouth. Keith looks away from Lotor and sees the occupant of the other seat at the table.

"Lance!" Keith says a little louder than he'd intended.

Lance looks–well the expression he'd always think of was like a cat that had got into the cream. He's slumped down low in the chair, his legs splayed out and limbs hanging loose around the armrests.

Lance rolls his head to the side to face Keith, dreamy calm expression on his face. "Heeey… Keeeith… Thasss Keith… Uhhh…" Lance attempts to motion to him with his hand but it falls back down limply. Lance blinks slowly and lolls his head around to look down at the table. "What was I saying?" he asks Lotor.

"Yes, your comrade and I were having a lovely chat. He's been rather… forthcoming." Lotor flashes a Cheshire smile at Keith, fangs and all. "But unfortunately lucidity is becoming difficult for the Blue paladin to hold on to," Lotor shrugs and sits himself down, motioning for Keith to be placed in the chair next to Lance.

The sentries force him down, his body still stiff and screaming at being bent at the legs. He can feel his hands twitching as they cuff his legs and arms to the chair, somewhat stabilizing him. Which is good because Keith doubts he could even stand on his own right now, and he really doesn't want to fall and whack himself on the head again.

"Can't risk the effects of my new weapon wearing off while we chat, and I wouldn't want you to try anything like running off before we've had the pleasure to get to know one another." Lotor hums and turns from Keith back to the Galra that brought him in, "You gave him the concentrated dose like Haggar recommended, yes, doctor?"

"Yes, we doubled the dosage I used on the Blue paladin," answers the Galra who Keith supposes is what they'd pass for a 'Doctor'. "Though it's effects are not showing as quickly, I still have more doses should we need it." The Doctor holds up the needle gun.

"Mm. We'll see if it comes to that," Lotor delicately picks up his utensils and cuts off another piece of meat-looking food from his plate, he nibbles carefully. "Now that we're all here, and I've introduced myself quite formally, Blue Paladin, remind me of your given name and origins again?"

Lance picks his head up, pupils blown wide. "Lance Alessandro Carlos McClain-Del Rios, son of Lorenzo Charles McClain and Giada Anna-Maria Del Rios, from Mantanzas, Cuba or Palm Bay, Florida depending on the holiday season and family birthdays," Lance recites without hesitation. Lotor nods, gesturing to Keith.

"Keith, Red paladin," he sneers at Lotor, "You also have stupid hair."

Lotor gestures at the Doctor and the needle is punching him in the neck again. They wait minutes, seconds, hours, Keith can't really tell. He's starting to taste panic biting the inside of his mouth.

Lotor rests his chin on his hands and leans closer, "Tell me your name."

"Keith, ow! Damn it!" Another punch to the neck with the needle. "I do not like you!" Keith shouts at the Doctor.

"The Doctor is running out of the diluted serum. They'll start using the stuff they'd use on _me_ next." Lotor stabs his food and tears off a piece with pointy canines. "What's your name?"

Keith sighs, letting go of the weight he's holding. "Keith Akira Kogane," he answers.

"Family?" Lotor asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Mike and Carol Brady. Three brothers and three sisters, Marcia, Jan, Cindy, Bobby, Greg and whatshisname…" Keith rattles off and Lance snorts.

The doctor looks at Lotor who gives him a nod, he removes a capsule of yellowish liquid from his needle gun, and reloads it with dark amber one.

Keith's ready for the pinching at his neck, but not for the word vomit that spills out about three seconds later.

"My dad's name is–was–is Ryan Kogane. Didn't know mom too well, but dad said her name was 'Kira Sky' one day when he was drunk, but he was slurring so he could've been saying that she 'killed a guy' for all I know. Got stuck up in the foster system after he died and lived in El Paso until I ran away. Ended up in Alaska and decided that I hated the cold and I'd proven my point to my stupid dead dad that I could get from one end of the country to another without any help. Emancipated myself in Vancouver because Dad has–had dual citizenship with Canada and Korea, which contradicted my earlier point and I'm still bitter about that, thanks. Made my way down to Arizona after I got accepted to the Galaxy Garrison and lived there or nearby up until now." Keith gasps for air, glaring at Lotor. "That enough backstory for you, bastard?"

Lotor raises an eyebrow. "Interesting."

"No fucking way, you're Canadian," Lance says. Keith turns to see an amused Lance, draping himself over the armrest now, seemingly enraptured by his story. "Canadians are supposed to be _nice_."

Keith feels his lip twitch. "I _am_ nice. You're the one always picking fights with me and I hate it." Keith bites the inside of his mouth to try and keep more from spilling out.

"Say 'about'. Say 'sorry'. Say 'bag of milk'." Lance laughs, falling back in his chair. "Mm sleepy."

Lotor nods to Lance. "Feel free to sleep now, Blue paladin, I think your comrade is ready and willing to fill in more of the gaps for me." Lotor waves the doctor away. "We should be fine, I'll call if your services are required, Doctor. Leave that please." Lotor motions to the needle gun which the Doctor places on the table.

Keith has been staring straight ahead but he feels something let go and he tests swiveling his head from side to side, gently. He gets a face full of Lance at his left, not realizing how damn close the chairs are. Lance is giving him that dopey-drugged out smile and a little wave with his hand. "Heyyyy Canuck-eith," he says quietly.

"Damn close these chairs," Keith says. "Ah damn it. Fuck. Stop talking. How do I stop talking?" The lines between Keith's normal inner monologue and speaking aloud have blurred terribly.

"This will not end well," Keith says.

Lance laughs so hard that Keith can feel his breath on his face and a hand resting on his shoulder. Lance's. Lance's hand on his shoulder, weakly squeezing it.

Keith swallows. "Lance's hand is on my shoulder," he says.

"This guy," Lance is laughing, squeezing it more, "What'd I tell ya, Tory? He's a riot! Ha!"

Lotor hisses at the nickname. "Prince Lotor," he corrects.

"Oh that's right. He hates, _hates_ nicknames. So sayeth Prince Lotor, Prince of Lotorsylvania. Sovereign ruler of the Lotorinas. Inventor of the Lotorangarangaroo," Lance says before nearly collapsing against Keith in a fit of laughter. Lotor does not look amused.

"You can see why I summoned you here, he's been devolving in and out of coherence, and the Doctor was afraid another dose may worsen the loss of his–" Lotor waves his hand idly.

"Awesomeness," Lance answers. "Which is scientifically impossible, by the way."

"S-stability," Keith stutters. "You n-need to stabilize, Lance, you need–"

Lance cuts him off by leaning forward and tapping Keith's nose. "Beep boop, best nose in space best be quiet," Lance leans close and stage whispers, "Don't be telling that pointy ear Prince all my secretest secrets."

"Really close," Keith says. "You are very. Close. Lance," he says carefully, swallowing back a gob of saliva that's started to pool in his mouth. Lance's hair always smells nice. "How does your hair always smell so nice?"

"Shhhh…" Lance leans closer and the finger slips from Keith's nose to his mouth. "Secretest secrets."

In fact, Lance is leaning forward in his chair so much so that it falls out from under him with a bang and he's practically climbing the arm of Keith's chair. "The floor is lava! Protect me, Red paladin of the lava people!" Lance shouts and laughs as he manages to end up sitting on Keith's armrest with his arms wrapped around Keith's shoulders. _This really cannot end well._ Keith takes a deep breath as he feels Lance curl around him.

"P-please just ask me whatever you need to ask, Lance needs–" Keith starts.

"Lance needs a nap." Lance states, petting the top of Keith's head. "Bye, Felicia," Lance says to Lotor as he squirms around again, settles his head against Keith's shoulder and his breathing slows.

Keith can feel sweat running down his temples, he should not be this close to Lance. His heart is thumping fast and he closes his eyes.

"This is," Keith starts.

"Not going to end well?" Lotor says with an annoyed tinge to his voice, "You've said that quite a few times."

"–his hair is soft." Keith squeezes his eyes shut as the word vomit starts.

 

**

 

Blue eyes and tanned skin. A smile that refuses to leave his face, and short brown hair that Keith wants to bury his fingers in because it looks so good.

Keith spots him across the auditorium when a laugh catches his ear and he feels his breath hitch. A voice overhead tells the freshmen to find their seats as orientation begins.

Keith can feel his hands tighten against his knees almost uncontrollably as the guy flops down in the seat in front of him and _fuck_ he smells good. He smells like a fresh shower and clean soap and vanilla and Keith realizes that's his hair. His hair that just falls slightly over the edge of the seat and Keith's leaning forward almost uncontrollably.

It doesn't take much in the closeness of the auditorium, the rows are narrow and the seats are cheap and Keith's fingers lift from his knees and with just the grazing of fingertips he can touch the boy's hair.

It's so fucking soft. He lets his fingers play with the flyaway strands, and no one seems to take notice.

Time skips, and Keith almost yelps when the guy dips his head backwards at what would be an awkward angle, but damn this guy is agile. Keith is quick to pull his hands back and fold them across his chest.

"Hey, so the name's…" he whispers to Keith, and the words are lost as all Keith can focus on is how his Adam's Apple bobs up and down. Keith's thinking about how he could suck on that and bite it and lick down his entire throat. "…time 'sit?" he catches the tail-end of.

Keith blinks and looks at an empty wrist and _fuck say something you creepy socially inept fucker say something to him!_ "Eleventeen?"

The guy laughs so loud he sends himself into a coughing fit and has to be clapped on the back several times by the tall guy with the headband next to him. Keith sinks into his chair and tries to disappear.

The guy gets in trouble for interrupting and turns to glare at Keith who can only mouth "sorry," and look down at his feet to avoid a glare he knows is already there.

After it's over he's lost in a crowd so it's a convenient enough excuse that Keith couldn't find him after to properly apologize. Instead he spends an hour on Shiro and Matt's couch with his face buried in a pillow, refusing to say anything.

 

**

 

Lotor raises an eyebrow. "Not exactly the deep dark secrets of the paladins of Voltron that I was looking for."

That hair is tickling Keith's ear. "He's not supposed to smell this good, it really isn't good for me to be this close when you've got me drugged full of space truth serum or whatever this is."

"And that's because," Lotor prompts.

"I say dumb weird shit when he's this close. My head gets all fuzzy and my mouth gets a mind of it's own and I can't be responsible for what I say or I do because I've been so fucking _into_ him since the moment I saw him and I'm kind of glad he's not awake right now, because I'll start going off about wanting to suck his Adam's Apple or his dick or both." Keith swallows. "Which I do, but not simultaneously because that'd be really hard and he's flexible– _fuck_ he's flexible I've seen him bend his leg over his head on a _dare_ –but I'm pretty sure that would involve a broken neck and back for at least one or more of us."

Lotor holds his hand up. "Okay, let's move on from the anatomy lessons and whoever this Adam-person is. Tell me about the Castle of Lions."

Keith tries to bite back his words but it hurts, and he can only hold in a breath for so long. "What.. about the Castle…" he starts, and then feels Lance readjusting his arms around Keith's shoulders. Keith's attention is torn away again. "Our rooms are next to each other," Keith breathes out.

He can't stop from telling Lotor the truth, but maybe he can circumvent it!

"One time Lance was so tired and I forgot to lock my door and he walked into mine and it took him like three full minutes of staring at me before I convinced him he was in the wrong room, and then he apologized and got all weird because he said he hasn't sleepwalked since he was a kid, but now I sometimes consider not locking my door and seeing if he'll just walk inside and spoon me or something, and I feel like a total creep and a total sap at the same time, and it's so sad, isn't it?"

Lotor looks like he's eaten something disagreeable, then he looks at the silverware at the table, picking up an implement that closely resembles a spoon. "The translators must be off, what exactly do humans use this for at night?"

Keith laughs, loud and hard until his sides ache and Lotor's face grows more and more confused and upset.

"Are you _mocking_ me, Red paladin?"

"Ohhh man, so that was a literal translation? Galra don't know how to spoon? That's terrible. You all must wake up feeling lonely and cranky." Keith sighs. "Which I can relate to."

"I'll have you know I sleep on the finest linens and wake up with the galaxy in the palm of my hand so I arise feeling _amazing,_ Red paladin!" Lotor says and puffs out his chest. "More amazing than you'll ever– _ever_ wake up feeling in your short, miserable _spooning_ existence!"

Keith can't help as the laughter comes back. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much," he snarks in his best impression of one of Matt's favorite retorts to his stubbornness back in the Garrison.

"I am not Lady Doth!" Lotor shouts as he stands and throws his fists on the table. Keith raises his eyebrow, but Lotor continues, "Quiet! Shut up! Now tell me about the Castle of Lions!"

"I can't really do both." Keith smiles.

Lotor growls, grinding his teeth together. "Tell me about Princess Allura! Now!"

Keith cocks his head to one side. "She's a Princess? Goes by the name of Allura?"

"Where is she–"

"She's really pretty, and Lance hits on her all the time and it drives me nuts because I get it, he likes her, and I mean he flirts all the time with everybody and he'll never feel the same way. I just wish he could warn me when he's gonna start flirting with her so I can leave the damn room."

"That's not what I wanted to know, tell me about the technology you have on the ship and how Allura uses–"

"Technology is more of Pidge and Hunk's area of expertise, but–" Keith feels himself slipping and then pulls it around again. _Focus on Lance, if I link everything I'm saying back to him, he's not going to get anything useful_. "They were Lance's teammates back in the Garrison. Hunk got to be his roommate. Shiro thinks I'm jealous of Allura, but really if anyone gets to be close enough to Lance to make me jealous it's Hunk."

"Oh my stars!" Lotor shouts. "Shut up about the Blue paladin already! How can you possibly be this hung up on him? You said yourself you don't have a chance, why can't you…" Lotor pauses, his left eye twitching. "How in all seventeen hells did you just manage to pull me into your-your–"

"Tragic soap opera excuse for a love life?" Keith tries to supply. "I mean it's kind of hard when the guy you're hung up on is draped all over you and you're all dopey with truth serum and man, Lotor I am glad you've got me cuffed because I honestly don't think I would be able to avoid cuddling this big lanky goofball that I just can't make myself get over. Even though he hates me."

Lotor puts his face in his hands. "Why?"

Keith sighs, he's really stopped caring about whatever Lotor is continuing to mutter and rant about, he feels Lance's breath against his face, and he watches him, the rise and fall of his chest, the way he keeps adjusting his arms, cuddling himself closer to Keith.

"Why does he hate me? Well, I could tell by his eyes," Keith murmurs.

 

**

 

"Hey! You're that guy! The guy who took like, 5 tasers to the face at once and was up and flying the simulator like an hour later, right?" Keith hears to the left of him. He slumps against his locker and with a sigh he turns, ready to correct whoever is next to him spreading rumors (even if the truth is far more embarrassing, he doesn't really care).

As Keith readies himself to disappoint and possibly alienate his newest "fan," he finds his voice catching and his heart beating faster at who he sees.

And of course, because the universe hates him, he can't remember the guy's damn name.

"Man, that's so cool," the guy sighs. "Wish I could've done that," he says with an almost-dreamy expression as he crosses his arms and leans back against the lockers.

Keith is suddenly snapped out of the fog of being so close to his crush by the sheer stupidity of that statement. Twinges of phantom pain in his arm muscles and crying and blowing gobs of snot into his pillow and– _what the fuck_?

"You… wish you could have been _tasered_?" Keith says as calmly as he possibly can.

"Yeah, they don't let us do cool stuff like that in Cargo pilot classes."

"Cool stuff."

"Yeah, I wish I was in the same class as you." A wistful smile.

"You… You'd want to do that? Get tasered in a 'controlled environment' because some sadistic instructor thinks it'll help you learn better? Be incapacitated for hours because you are in so much sheer physical pain that all muscular control gets lost and you–"

"Sorry," the guy holds up his hands. "I heard it differently, I–"

"–You wake up in a pool of body fluids and your asshole classmates are taking _selfies_ while you twitch and then the next day all your teacher does is give you a demerit for swearing and it's not even worth the goddamn smuggled-in girl scout cookies." Keith takes a deep breath.

"Um."

"It's not. Fucking. Cool. At all. I'm just the idiot who volunteered and went first."

"So."

"It was one of the most painful experiences in my _life_ and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

"Yep."

_You are lucky to be in the Cargo pilot class, and I wish I was there with you._ Keith doesn't say, just, "Please don't try and glorify it."

The guy nods. "Got it. No problem. Absolutely no glory whatsoever. Painful and disgusting and lots of TMI. Now, can I have my shirt back?"

Keith blinks. Somewhere in his ranting he'd ended up fisting the guy's uniform and backing him up against a locker, his stance ready to attack.

Blue eyes are meeting his, the eyebrows aren't elegant or mischievous arches anymore, they're knit together in concern–no it can't be that, they barely know one another. Is it pity? Or is it…

_Fear_. He's afraid of Keith. Suddenly Keith's back in foster homes, scared out of his mind and lashing out and making anyone he can feel scared too. He's punching a kid three times his size in the face until it's bloody and raw and he never gets looked at again without fear, even as they take him away.

Keith's hands are still shaking as he releases the guy's shirt like it's burned his fingers, and Keith quickly mumbles "sorry," before he's running off.

A week later Keith is talking with Shiro when he sees him walk by and Keith avoids eye contact like a crazy person by literally throwing his face in a book. Shiro clicks his tongue.

"He asked about you," Shiro said.

"Who?" Keith feigns ignorance and Shiro crosses his arms.

"Technically he went through his roommate, who went through Matt to me. He wanted to see if you'd be open to an apology."

Keith shrugs. "He's got nothing to apologize for."

"The way I heard it, _you_ have something to apologize for."

Keith sighs, his expression falling. "Not now."

Shiro half-smiles. "Want to come over and cry on the couch about it?"

Keith sees the guy over Shiro's shoulder, looking straight at him. Keith scowls and turns away, ignoring the sound of a locker slamming shut in anger.

A little over a year later those blue eyes have lost their pity and fear and they're glaring at Keith with incredulity as they help him carry Shiro away from the Garrison.

"The name's _Lance_."

 

**

 

"I'm sorry, Lance," Keith whispers as he swallows down his guilt again.

Lotor's ranting, waving around the needle gun, and he's shouting at a communications panel on the wall.

"I'm telling you, there's something wrong with the formula! The first one went loopy and delirious and is now unconscious, and the other one won't stop talking about his sorry excuse for a love life and using me as some kind of _counselor_ for the lonely-hearted. You need to get back here and fix this, Doctor!"

Keith almost laughs but quickly stills as he feels Lance's hand falling behind his shoulders, inching down his back.

_Wait._

"Something's," Keith starts and suddenly Lance's other hand is over his mouth. Lance's eyes are open and he uses the momentum to turn Keith to face him, their noses almost touching.

"Shhh." Lance's whisper is barely audible, he tilts his head to speak directly into Keith's ear. "Can you lean forward at all?"

Keith does as much as he can within his bonds and the stiffness in his limbs as Lance's eyes look above Keith's head. _He must be watching Lotor_.

Keith feels Lance pulling out his knife from the holster on the back of his paladin armor, and Lance smiles, and then stifles a laugh. It might be from Keith's expression, his eyes are wide half in panic, and half in shock that Lance's hand was just brushing his tailbone.

"Gonna borrow this. Will you talk if I move my hand?" Lance whispers.

Keith shakes his head no.

Lance takes his hand away from Keith's mouth, and with a wink he moves off the chair, Keith turns to watch as he stays low, Lotor completely oblivious to his movements 

_Lance really is agile as fuck_ , Keith thinks as he bites his lip hard.

Lotor finishes yelling with a final "When my father hears about this!" at the Galra on the screen, and clears the call by slamming his fist against the button on the panel.

"When my father…" Lotor says to himself, sadness tugging at the edge of his voice.

Lance stands upright, just a hair shorter than Lotor, he's still got his back completely to Keith. Lance gives him a glance over the shoulder and mouths 'Watch this'.

'What?!' Keith mouths back, almost wanting to shout at him. Lotor spins around and Lance shadows him perfectly.  Keith slams the back of his his head against the chair. 

_Now is not the time for a goddamn I Love Lucy bit, Lance!_ Keith thinks as Lotor screeches.

"Wh-wha? Where is he? Where is the Blue paladin!?" Lotor shouts at Keith as he slams his hands and the needle gun on the table.

Lance looks over Lotor's shoulder, signaling Keith, pointing down at the floor and miming a key turning in a lock.

"He's… he's still in the room. You should lock… it down?" Keith answers carefully, earning a thumbs up from Lance.

Lotor runs to the control panel, still not seeing Lance creep behind him shouting "Lock this room! Immediately! No one in or out!"

"But sire–"

"Do it!" Lotor cuts the call again and Keith hears the bolts turn on the door. "Where?!" Lotor's hair whips around so quickly it smacks his face. Lotor spits his hair out, his eyes are a frenzy of emotions. "Where in the room is he?"

Keith shrugs. "Um, behind you."

Lotor blinks cartoonishly and Keith is reminded of the look Wile E. Coyote would give the audience before falling off a cliff. Lance's arm is around Lotor's neck now, Keith's knife pressing closely to his skin.

"Heya." Lance smiles.

Keith can't help but return his smile as Lotor swallows carefully.

 

**

 

Moments later Keith is unshackled, and Lotor takes his place. Lance carefully maneuvers Keith back to a sitting position when they realize he still can't really move his arms or his legs.

"Are you sure?" Lance asks as he seats him in Lotor's ornate chair.

"Yeah, I've been a useless noodle-person before. It's gonna take a while longer before I can move properly," Keith says.

Lance laughs and Keith raises an eyebrow. "Useless noodle-person? You wound me, Kogane. I resemble that remark." Lance turns back to Lotor. "I told you, he's so funny, but so _mean_ to me!"

Lotor grits his teeth and gives Lance another snarl.

Keith looks at Lance. "No! I don't think you're useless!" he shouts way louder than he meant to. Keith feels the blood rushing back to his head, making him dizzy and nervous. "I… I mean you…"

"I was faking the whole thing, yeah," Lance looks down and picks up the Doctor's needle gun. "Started the plan once they told me that this would 'make me talk'. I mean, I've seen every James Bond movie ever, I know a truth serum ploy when I see one. Figured if I pretended it was super-effective right away I'd be able to shake off the serum quicker and buy myself some time to figure out the next part. Once Lotor let it slip that you were here too, I decided to play it up so they'd bring you in next."

Keith furrows his brow and Lance continues, "You always have at least three sharp objects or potential weapons on your person. I was pretty sure even the Galra guards wouldn't find them all." Lance frowns. "I'm gonna need to use one of them to get Princey-pants here to tell the guards to bring us our Bayards back."

Keith takes a deep breath. "Lance, I–"

"Ut!" Lance's finger is on Keith's mouth. "We're not doing this in front of grape-flavor Legolas." He beams, "I have been saving so many annoying nicknames I thought I was gonna burst, you heard that right Lotor, I'm gonna nickname you until you cry… Space Draco Malfoy!" Lance finishes with a snap of his fingers.

Lotor bangs his head against the chair. "I will get you your damn bayards just please, _please_ stop making me watch the two of you making moon-eyes. I'm going to be _sick._ "

"Oho," Lance asks with a sway of his hips. "Moon-eyes?"

"I have no idea what that's supposed to be translating to," Keith says. "But I think it sounds pretty, actually. Kind of poetic." There's still too much of the residual truth serum in his veins, he can't help it.

"Well, let's find out from the purple horse's mouth?" Lance says as he lines up the needle gun at Lotor's throat. "Here's hoping I don't hit the wrong artery, my Galran anatomy lessons don’t start until next week."

"Here's hoping you do," Keith mutters as Lance doses him.

"What's Moon-eyes?"

Lotor blinks a few times, holding his tongue in-between his teeth. "My father is going to…" he starts and bobs his head. "Whuff. What is happening?"

Lance clicks his tongue and doses Lotor again. "What's Moon-eyes?"

"You look at the Red paladin like he could pull the moon from the sky and present it to you." Lotor swallows. "And he does the same."

Lance turns back to Keith. "Okay you were right, that was poetic and beautiful. Sucks that it came from a violet-elf-looking-prissy-pants like him."

Keith laughs. Lance shrugs, "They're not all gonna be winners, Keith. Give me some slack!"

"I liked it!" Keith says, "I like your jokes, Lance." He closes his eyes, it's embarrassing all over again and of course Lance has just been evading every compliment like it was nothing.

"I'll tell you more if it means I get to see that." it feels like Lance is closer again, that warm breath and softness is there when Keith opens his eyes to see Lance crouching down to meet his eye level, he runs his thumb along Keith's cheek. "You're blushing."

"Lance," Keith starts again as he watches Lance's mouth move closer and closer to his.

"I just vomited in my mouth!" Lotor shouts, spitting out a gob of something disgusting. "Oh hell, please let me wash my mouth, out it's burning! I will do whatever you want!" Lotor sniffs.

"Is he _crying_?" Keith asks with surprise.

"Awww. Do you not like watching us flirt?" Lance says as he ruffles Keith's hair and turns to drop his jaw. "Oh shit he really is crying."

Lotor is crying. Big fat tears down his cheeks. "I really hate throwing up! I want my father to bring me sweet milks and rub my back until I fall asleep."

"He actually _is_ Space Malfoy," Lance says. "This is amazing."

"I have no idea what that reference is," Keith says and when Lance gasps, clutching his chest, he offers, "You can explain it to me?"

"Oh, I'm gonna explain it. I'm gonna make Pidge and Hunk and Shiro dress up and we are going to re-enact all seven damn books once we get out of here!" Lance winks.

"Augh!" Lotor whinges again. "Why are you still making me watch the two of you? I hate seeing people be affectionate because it makes me feel horrible about myself since no one likes me and everyone says I have a shit personality and that I'm too short and my eyes are hideous so I grew my hair out to hide them." Lotor bangs his head against the back of the chair again. "Please make this stop," he says with a sob and his shoulders slump down, hard.

"Sounds like someone's ready to tell their guards to bring us a couple of Bayards," Lance sing-songs. "No betrayal, no secret codewords. Or else you have to watch, _this_."

Keith barely has time to register when he's lifted up in Lance's arms and spun around. Keith laughs and Lance stops just short of kissing him when Lotor interrupts with another fit of pterodactyl screeching.

"See? I have the best plans," Lance says with a grin.

Keith feels his hands tremble as they come back under his control, and with his own sly smile, he grabs Lance by his face and pulls him in for a kiss.

"I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you," he says against Lance's mouth when they finally part.

"I've wanted to do that since Eleventeen o'clock, you massive jerk," Lance says as Keith wraps his arms around his neck to draw him in for another kiss.

 

**

 

 


	2. the one with the couch dent of existential teenage angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's very long day is looking much better. He only has to endure threats from a very angry, spoiled Galra prince, embarrassing safe sex talks from Shiro, and flashbacks to a troubled past and internalized issues with a fear of expressing himself openly or intimately.
> 
> But he gets to make out with Lance a whole lot. So it balances out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are references to encounters with homophobic people and use of homophobic language (contextually) in this chapter so please take heed if that stuff bothers you. If there is something else I need to warn for, please let me know.
> 
> Things also start toe the line of Mature to Explicit but I'm still fairly confident I've rated this correctly. Again, let me know if not.
> 
>  
> 
> All of Lance's nicknames for Pidge and Hunk are 10000% canon you cannot convince me otherwise.

 

 

 

"I'm gonna throw up again," Lotor moans, in-between dry heaving like a cat.

"Please, feel free to do so," Keith hisses as he drags Lotor by the scruff of his collar down the corridors with one hand; the other has his sword against the back of the Galra guard that's leading them to the hanger. Lance has his rifle trained on Lotor from behind, all of the other guards and sentries line the halls, looking uncomfortably on as the two paladins leverage the Prince as a hostage.

"Gross, dude he's not facing you," Lance pouts. "It'll get on my shoes."

Keith looks over his shoulder. "You're right. Lotor, if you spew on Lance I'm not gonna be too happy about that." Keith tugs harder.

The Galra guard stops at a door, opens it, and before they can move aside, Keith and Lance shove their way in, locking the door again. 

"We see this door move even one little bit, and the Prince is getting a hole in his head!" Lance shouts as Keith makes his way to the Red Lion, sighing with relief as her particle barrier drops.

Keith turns back to where Lance looks like he's having a heated discussion with Lotor. Lance has his chin in his hands, he looks worried as Keith jogs back towards him.

"Red and Blue are just over there, Lance please let's _go_." Keith gestures over his shoulder.

"We have to take him with us." Lance says.

"What?!" Both Lotor and Keith say in unison.

"As a _prisoner_. We have to take him with us."

"Are you serious? He's probably got twenty different trackers on him! He's been asking us about the Castle of Lions and you want to take him directly to where he wants to be?"

"Well, we can't leave him here!" Lance frowns. "I know said I faked most of it, but Lotor did get some truths out of me before it wore off. He knows too much about things. Things that could get _you_ and the rest of the team in trouble."

Keith sighs. "You're right. But we can't take him to the castle."

"We don't have to. We just drop him somewhere that we know about, but the Galra don't. Maybe hide him away with your friends in the uh," Lance waves his hand. "You know the knife club for knife cats?"

Keith blinks a few times. "Knife club for knife cats?"

Lance gives him a pained look. "I am trying to be subtle here, Keith. The obtuse thing is adorable but just go with me on this one."

"Adorable?" Keith puts his hand on his chest and Lotor groans again.

"Great, just great. My father will never forgive me for this."

Keith rolls his eyes. "Watch him while I go call Kol-um. The Knife club president."

Lance gives him a salute and Keith clicks his teeth. " _You_ , stop being adorable."

"I said you first!" Lance yells.

 

**

 

Kolivan enthusiastically agrees to give Keith the coordinates to the nearest Blade of Marmora outpost after learning they'd taken the Prince hostage.

Which meant Lotor would have to ride in Red. With Keith. Neither were too thrilled about the situation.

"Lance, I'm heading into the gravity field. Can you get Shiro on your end so we can wormhole out of here once I make the drop off?" Keith asks over the comms.

"Heck yes, I am dying to get back to the castle. Hear that Lotor? I'm going back to a Castle with a Princess and you get none-a that. Ever." Lance teases.

Keith sighs. "I'm turning off the comm signal so we don't jam. Start the timer for me, if I take longer than a varga?"

"I'm storming the place with righteous fury and going full Rambo. Got it."

"Lance."

"After calling the rest of the team and more of your knife club buddies for backup of course. Jeez. Alright you're going dark Keith," Lance pauses and his voice goes lower. "Make it quick okay? I gotta tell you some stuff."

Keith hits the button too quickly and almost smacks the panel. "What, who says that before?" Keith sighs. "He is so frustrating."

"And yet… Moon eyes." Lotor says from behind Keith's chair. He's slumped there, arms and legs still shackled. Keith wishes they would have found a muzzle or gag before they left the Galra base.

"You should let me concentrate, Lotor, one wrong move and we're both gonna be pulled into a singularity." Keith says as he starts his careful navigation course. He's done this a few times since the first, but it's still a bit nerve-wrecking. Especially since Lance is being cryptic and making him even more anxious to get it over with. He almost wants to just drop Lotor and fly back.

"Moon-eyes. Stars in your mouths. Fire on your tongues. All comes crashing down." Lotor hums. "It's from a lullaby we tell our children."

"Shhh."

"You'll see them as if they could pull the moon from the sky and present it to you. When you open your mouth the stars will fall from them. And the fire on their tongue burns too bright to ignore. As they drag you into their arms, it will all break away into fragments and dust." Lotor pauses. "It's a warning to watch out and not fall for those ones that distract you. They're a weakness."

Keith grips tighter on Red's controls.

"It's what I told the Blue paladin. I know his weakness and yours. You both have liabilities. You can't have that in a war. My father had the druids use that song to teach me. It's why I can never love–that serum might have forced me to show my hand but I don't care that I will never be in love."

"We know that's a lie," Keith says.

"Cultivating this 'shit personality' helped me avoid any slip ups. I suggest you both do the same before you bleed to death in each other's arms and the rest of your team is lead away in chains."

Red lands carefully and Keith stands, grabs Lotor by the arm and yanks him upright, pulling out his bayard and his Marmoran blade and allowing it to morph into his sword. He rotates both blades in a circle and lays them against Lotor's throat.

"We're here. Start walking, and I'll tell you everything I will do to you if you ever, _ever_ touch Lance, or any one of the Paladins of Voltron," Keith says.

Lotor pouts, carefully examining Keith's expression. "Why do you look like the Yupper who got into the bloodsteak?"

"Maybe I'm thinking about how you're gonna wake up every morning from now on. Without the galaxy in your hands. And definitely not on any fine linens." Keith smiles. "And I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight, Lotor."

Keith feels a mixture of relief and regret at being able to lie again.

 

**

 

"So… the stuff?" Keith asks as they travel in the lifts back to the bridge.

Lance bites his knuckles. Keith looks puzzled. "Lance? What's wrong?"

"You gotta, um, give me. Aw hell." Lance leans forward and kisses Keith quickly. "We're gonna have to talk about things, just you and me. I want to figure this out, but I also want to kiss you. A lot. I'm trying to negotiate myself into more 'talk' and less 'suck his friggin' face off'." Lance crosses his arms. "I'm trying to be responsible here Keith, be proud of me."

Keith ducks his head. "I'm proud of you."

"Good, so we do the whole debrief thing, and then we go talk." Lance claps his hands together. "We have a _plan_."

Keith clears his throat. "We could do both, though." Lance turns to stare at him. "Not at the same time, that'd be… messy. Maybe one after the other?"

Lance snaps his mouth shut, and smacks Keith on the arm. "Keith! What is even happening? You can't say stuff like that! I'm trying to be mature and you are not helping!"

Keith laughs. "New plan, maybe?"

"Yes! Of course new friggin' plan!" Lance counts off his fingers. "One, debrief. Two, we talk to each other about this." Lance motions at the space between himself and Keith "Three–"

"Debrief each other?" Keith says, trying to not crack at the expression on Lance's face.

"Man, now I know why you flirt so much. This is fun," Keith says as he leans against the wall, attempting to mimic Lance's usual pose with his finger pointing and winking.

Lance frowns. “You're sure all of that space truth serum is gone?"

"My name is Abraham Lincoln, I'm one thousand years old, and the first moon landing _wasn't_ faked. Yeah, I can lie." 

"So either this is a weird side effect or… this is really you being this charming and flirty and making my heart go dum-dum-ditty?"

Keith's eyes widen. "I am?" Lance grabs his hand and lays Keith's palm flat on his chest.

Lance lowers his voice and looks at him through hooded eyes. "You tell me."

Keith stiffens, feeling Lance's heartbeat through his armor. "We're gonna suck each other's faces off."

 

**

 

Once they're on the main bridge, Lance takes the lead in retelling the story with wild arms and pantomiming and laughter, and the only thing that's off is he's giving Lotor this weirdly posh English accent.

Keith takes notice that he's leaving out some key details. Specifically, anything involving what Keith said when he thought Lance was unconscious, and that Lance pretty much climbed into his lap. Lance is mostly going on and on about how lame Lotor turned out to be, and how they were able to manipulate an entire Galra base.

Keith gets the usual once over to check to see that all his limbs and fingers are intact, and then a crushing hug from Shiro accompanied by lecture.

"You can't just go rushing in like that!" Shiro says clapping Keith on the shoulder.

Keith nods. "I know. It was dumb."

"Did you even have a plan?"

Keith smiles. "Didn't need one." he looks at Lance doing an impression of Lotor throwing a tantrum and bawling on the floor. "I had him."

Shiro raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

Keith catches himself and rubs the back of his neck. "That was… okay I'll explain later."

Shiro laughs under his breath. "You'd better. I've been following 'Keith Kogane's Unbearably Unrequited Crush' for almost three seasons. I better get a satisfying conclusion." Shiro purses his lips. "I mean don't just _conclude_. Buy him dinner."

Keith covers his face with his hands. "Ugh, Shiro."

Shiro drops his voice. "If you need some-uh, well I found this stash of Altean prophylactics in the med bay. They look a little backward and probably will take some getting used to, but I figured them out so I can show you on a bottle or something."

"Oh my god, Shiro!" Keith whispers, trying to sink lower into the chair.

"Just don't use the food goo as lube, it's not oil-based so it dries out really fast."

"Shiro! How do you even? No, I do not want to know how you know that. I want to bleach that from my brain!" Keith says, rubbing his hands down his face, hoping they're not drawing attention, fortunately Lance is still commanding the room with his story.

Shiro nods. "Got it, got it." 

"Thank you."

"I'm just saying I know you've been holding it in for a long time and I was your age once and I–"

Keith covers Shiro's mouth with his hand. "Stop talking. Forever." Thankfully Lance's voice gets louder and it catches their attention.

"And that's when jerk-baby space Malfoy goes all 'My father, wah wah waaah, I'll get you Blue Paladin, I know your weaknesses now, and I'll make you suffer, waaah,' and stuff." Lance says, emphasizing by shaking his fists in the air.

"What weaknesses?" Pidge interrupts.

"Eh?" Lance turns with a shrug. "Dunno, he was moaning about being nauseous a lot and something about the moon, whatever."

"Well he had you take a 'truth serum', as you put it," Allura says, leaning forward. "Do you remember revealing anything that he could use against you or the team?"

Lance shakes his head, "I told you, I got such a small dose it barely worked. I mean I talked about the time my older brother dared me to eat a dead jellyfish we found on the beach and I ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped, but the rest I made up."

"What about Keith?" Allura asks. Keith feels the floor drop out a little. _Well here it comes._

"Well, Keith didn't know about the jellyfish either but I guess he does now. My weakness is I can't eat dead jellyfish, but I'm dumb enough to try. Promise not to use that against me, Keith?" Lance says clasping his hands together. Keith laughs and nods.

"Lance," Allura says sharply. "You said Keith was given the serum as well. But in a higher dose." Allura turns to Keith. "Do you remember if you said anything that could have compromised any of the team? Or yourself?"

Keith feels the blood rush to his head. "Uhh…"

"Keith's Canadian," Lance answers. "That's what we convinced Lotor was Keith's big weakness."

Coran turns his head to one side. "What's Canay-dee-an?"

"It means Keith descends from humans that live in a cold, frozen land of overly polite people that keep their milk in bags and they eat these things called 'Timbits' which to my knowledge, don't actually contain any trace amounts of people named 'Tim'. Also there's hockey and beavers."

Pidge and Hunk are laughing uncontrollably as Allura and Coran try to process all the information, and they look at Keith for confirmation.

Keith deadpans. "Yes, Lance. That is exactly what a 'Canadian' is. Thank you for explaining."

"I got you," Lance shoots him finger-guns and a smile.

"Wait. You really convinced the Prince of the Galra that being Canadian was a terrible secret and a weakness?" Shiro asks.

"Yep."

Shiro shakes his head, a laugh bubbling up. "Sounds about right. I once convinced a bunch of guards that hiccups were caused by tiny little insect eggs hatching in my throat and the only way to stop them from coming out and stinging everyone was to drown them. Helped us whenever someone was really thirsty." Lance beams at Shiro's acceptance of his explanation.

"Doesn't hurt that Lotor was a terrible interrogator. So, like I was saying, Prince Crybaby starts threatening us and so I'm like, hey! We gotta take him prisoner. Keith calls up his Blade buddies and meanwhile Lose-tor is moaning about nobody loving him and–"

 

**

 

Matt and Shiro used to joke that there was a Keith-shaped dent in their couch.

It started small, but eventually they grew the joke into a full-blown epic mythology. They would shoo away anyone who would dare touch the precious dent.

"Nonono, you can't sit there! See the imprint left behind by existential teenage angst?" 

"Those pillows have been painstakingly arranged to absorb the gossamer tears of a heart forlorn and forever alone in this world, mind them, would you?"

"Keith, the dent is starting to lose it's power. Go hang out in the communal showers so you can catch him shirtless again. Then you can revive it with the power of your longing."

"That is the Keith Kogane Couch of the Lonely Hearted. Please make sure you sigh deeply before being seated."

Keith put up with the teasing because it _was_ honestly a very comfortable couch, and when the jokes got too much all he'd have to do was give Shiro the right type of pout. Shiro would then pat his head and give him a reassuring smile and then glare at Matt. Which in turn would make Matt feel guilty, and so he'd break out his X-Files DVDs, or give Keith first pick of whatever was in his weekly care package.

It was also private in it's own way. Keith didn't really get close with his dorm-mates and was on the waiting list for a single room since his second day at the Garrison. Growing up he still had that fear that never quite left him.

If you looked at Keith's high school records you'd find the story about the time he beat a kid three times his size in the face so badly that the kid had to have stitches. There's plenty of details about the time and place of the incident. The fact that the kid's family wanted to sue the school unless Keith was expelled.

(They always leave the part out about how the guy called Keith a faggot and threatened that the first boy he kissed would die from AIDS.)

"There's always that moment when I have to stop and ask myself, am I about to get punched? Or spat on, slapped in the face?" Keith swallows. "Or hear words that make me want to vomit, and be reminded that even when I think i'm somewhere safe, I'm really not." Keith hugs a pillow tighter and curls his knees to his chest. "So if I hesitate to open up, that's why."

Matt's hand is on his shoulder, squeezing slightly and Shiro squishes in on the opposite side, sandwiching the three of them together.

"There's a chance none of that would happen, I know, logically. Laws of averages." Keith bites his lip.

Matt gets a glint in his eyes. "As much as I love it, I am going to be really happy when we retire the Keith Kogane brooding couch dent." Keith smiles into the pillow. "Because it's gonna happen!" Matt says, shaking Keith's shoulder hard enough to make him reveal his smile.

"We'll re-christen it the Keith Kogane couch dent of 'complaining about how perfect my boyfriend is'. I will accept nothing less." Shiro winks.

"Oooh, or the Keith Kogane couch dent of 'my boyfriend is so hot that I had to come cry about it because how did I get so lucky'!" Matt adds.

"The Keith Kogane couch dent of 'crying about how considerate my boyfriend is he keeps buying me knives and motorcycle gloves.'"

"The Keith Kogane couch dent of 'I'm sore from all the PG-13 hand-holding and stuff my boyfriend and I are doing with mutual consent.'"

Keith groans. "Or I could just make it the couch dent of regret for committing double-homicide."

Shiro and Matt shake their heads. "Nah, that lacks a certain flow," Matt says. "The Keith Kogane dent of…"

 

**

 

"I miss that stupid couch." Keith says to Shiro when the debrief is finally over and Keith gets back from his medical exam.

Shiro pauses for a moment before he remembers. "Oh yeah, me too. Though I didn't really use it that much." Shiro chuckles to himself.

"It was a good hiding place."

"Why–or should I say whom, would you want to be hiding from right now?" Shiro smiles as they turn the hallway to find Lance, who definitely wasn't nearly bouncing out of his shoes waiting for Keith to come out of the med bay.

"Um," Lance starts.

Keith suddenly finds himself feeling very exposed, and Shiro is quickly ducking away with a quiet, "Buy him dinner…"

Lance looks at Shiro as he makes his hasty retreat. "Dinner?"

Keith swallows. _You've kissed him like three times already, you're not gonna get punched._ _Stop being ridiculous_. "If you're hungry?"

"I'm really not."

"Yeah me neither," Keith grabs Lance by his hand and yanks him down the hall to his room, practically throwing him inside and closing the door.

Keith's fingers shake a bit as he keys a few things into the door controls. Locking it out of the code he gave Shiro for emergencies (he'll tell him the new one later), activating the white noise blockers and adjusting the temperature controls because he's pretty sure Lance isn't gonna like how Keith keeps his quarters like an ice-box during the later hours.

He's definitely not avoiding looking at Lance, he's definitely not waiting for the nervous flush to leave the tips of his ears and cheeks. He hears Lance clear his throat and sees that Lance has taken a seat on the edge of Keith's bed.

"Sooo." Lance drums on his knees. "Keith and Lance talk. About things. Without the influence of drugs or life-threatening situations or annoying entitled Princes gagging up hairballs in the background."

Keith nods. 

"Or," Lance says, shrugging his shoulders. "We both admit this is hella awkward to try and put things into words when all I wanna do is make out with you and I really really hope the feeling is mutual?" 

Keith nods vigorously. "It is so _fucking_ mutual." He takes two quick steps and falls onto Lance's lap grabbing the back of his head and crushing their mouths together. Lance makes a high-pitched yelping sound that's muffled against Keith's mouth but he acclimates quickly. His hands are on Keith's hips, gripping tight.

Keith lets himself break apart for a moment and a gasp. Lance looks dazed, smiling at him and darting his tongue out to wet his lips.

Suddenly Keith is scrambling to get his gloves off, fumbling with one and throwing it off to one side, Lance grabs that hand now that it's free and kisses his palm, making his way up his wrist. Keith holds in a sigh and instead with a growl he bites the edge of his other glove, taking it off with his _teeth_.

"Fuck, that was fucking–you are killing me, Kogane." Lance breathes deep as Keith's other hand crushes into his hair and he's kissing him again.

Lance is wriggling now, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it aside and moving back on Keith's bed, Keith guides him in-between kisses, now with more of Lance's collarbones to access he moves down Lance's neck and tugs down his shirt to bite and suck against the juncture of Lance's neck.

Lance laughs, "S-stop, you're gonna rip it! I'll take it off!" Keith stops and Lance sits up quickly, their noses bumping. Lance pulls his shirt off completely.

Keith can't help the "Yes!" that escapes his mouth and he covers it with his hands.

Lance leans back, obviously appreciating the attention as Keith's eyes run up and down his bare torso. "I take it you approve?" he says, crossing his arms behind his head, probably in an effort to show off the definition of his arms that Keith knows he's been working on.

Keith drops his hands from his mouth, resting them on Lance's pectorals. "That was a weird involuntary, um." Lance's eyes are brighter now. "Stop that," Keith flicks Lance's chest.

"You have an involuntary reaction to all this beauty. It's called aesthetic arrest." Lance winks. "I know words."

Keith shakes his head. "It's called three seasons of Keith Kogane has a crush on a boy he's too afraid to speak to," Keith sighs, drumming his fingers against warm, firm skin, "Oh and he forgot his name and he was too embarrassed to ask."

Lance pouts. "I'm still a little upset about that, not gonna lie." His arms drop to his sides.

"I get that," Keith looks away, focusing on the wall. "You flirt a lot with girls though. I figured you were off-limits."

"Yeah well, flirting with guys is tricky," Lance quirks his mouth back and forth, forming the right words. "You don't know how they're gonna react sometimes. Girls don't get particularly violent if you wink and smile and they're quick to let you know when they aren't interested. With words or without, um, _contact_." Keith's eyes meet his again.

He knows that expression.

"It's scarier when it's a dude who might punch you in the face if you say something he doesn't want to hear, or act the wrong way around him." Lance takes a deep breath, his hands settling on Keith's thighs. "Hell, where I was growing up, it was either 'Hi I think you're cute,' or 'Go back wherever you came from.'"

Keith half smiles. "I got kicked out of one of my schools for beating a homophobic piece of garbage into the pavement."

"Whoa," Lance whispers.

Keith sighs. "Please don't be turned on by that."

Lance shakes his head with a laugh, his hands are running back and forth along Keith's thighs, he really likes that. "Just thinking, where were you when I was growing up?"

"Texas, Alaska, Canada…"

"Couldn't have made a pit stop in Florida to come beat the snot out of the assholes I had to put up with in school? I'm counting both teachers and students, by the way. Teachers were the worst."

Keith crinkles his nose. "I wouldn't have. I hate hot weather." Lance's jaw drops.

"You lived in the _desert_."

"Didn't like it. Spent a lot of time in a very cold bathtub whenever I could."

Lance raises his eyebrows. "Am I allowed to get turned on by that?" His hands dig into Keith's thighs and Keith makes a small appreciative sound.

"Yesss," Keith hisses.

"Just for the record, if you're not digging the temperature, feel free to take off anything that might be constricting or stifling or–" Lance stops as Keith begins to pull off his shirt.

"Got it, got it," Keith rights himself back to straddling Lance, his hands dropping lower, touching the hem of Lance's jeans. He stills.

"Also," Lance swallows, "For the record. I'm definitely not gonna hit you."

Keith nods. "I'm not gonna call you names."

Lance takes Keith's hands in his own, sitting up and holding them close to his chest and looks at Keith with hooded eyes, and in a quiet, sincere tone he says, "I'm gonna flirt with so many space dudes, and then flirt with you so hard you throw your pants off at the sound of my voice."

Keith whacks him with a pillow, laughing as Lance kisses him again.

 

**

 

Everything is just Lance's mouth and his body and Keith shouldn't have futzed with the temperature controls because he's sweating so hard that his hair is sticking to his forehead and he must look disgusting.

Lance doesn't seem to mind as his tongue stops wrestling with Keith's and he pulls back, pressing their foreheads together. "Fuck, you're a good kisser," Lance says.

"Mmn." Keith is lying on his side now, they've stripped down to just boxers because pants really were stifling, and Lance proclaimed that socks in bed were too tacky. Lance's legs are entwined with his and Keith laughs whenever he feels Lance wiggle his toes against his feet.

Keith traces his fingers along Lance's sideburns. _They're getting longer_ , he muses. 

Lance kisses the back of Keith's hand. "I really like you."

Keith smiles and mumbles, "I wanna buy you dinner."

"Why does Shiro keep telling you that?" Lance asks.

"'Cause he thinks I wanna fuck you and he wants me to be classy about it." Keith laughs to himself.

Lance's eyebrows almost disappear into his bangs.

"I mean, I haven't–" Keith stammers. "Shiro is _inferring_ things. He tried to give me a safe sex talk and I wanted to staple his mouth shut because–I just like kissing you and I like you but we–we can't even get through a conversation about what we are and if we are a 'we' so it's like, a non-issue." Keith feels a bead of sweat drop from his temple. "Right?"

Lance has a serious expression that Keith can't quite read but he's vaguely aware of a dizzy feeling.

He really shouldn't have messed with the temperature controls, it's way too hot.

"Fuck, I'm gonna go lower the–" Keith sits up too quickly. "Whoozy."

Lance is there, putting Keith's arms around his shoulders and Keith instinctively wraps his legs around Lance's torso and suddenly he's being carried. "Wait, wait what are you doing? Lance you don't have to, I'm fine really." Keith says, as he's carried to his small bathroom, where Lance deposits him on the edge of his sink and there's still that serious expression.

"Cold baths to beat the heat, huh?" Lance murmurs as he wets a cloth with cold water and Keith feels it on the back of his neck, then his temples, all the good pressure points.

"Thanks," Keith mumbles.

"You looked like you were about to throw up," Lance says, wringing his hands. "Fuck he was fucking right."

Keith huffs. "Shiro is just being 'annoying older brother that knows better' to me. He does that."

Lance rubs the back of his neck. "I meant Lotor. He said we'd make each other weaker."

Keith blinks. "Really. This is where we have the big talk about what happened? When I'm half naked, sweating like a pig and about to pass out from a panic attack induced by accidentally propositioning you for sex before we even finish our first… Is this a date?"

"Technically we had a dinner date. Well Lotor had dinner. I just snuggled you like a human pillow for sneaky stealth purposes and you confessed how much you wanted to smell my hair."

"Fine, our second date. And now we have a serious talk. A gross and sweaty serious talk."

Lance leans in to nuzzle Keith's nose with his own. "You are so not gross. You're sexy as hell. I'm looking forward to this classy dinner thing." Lance wiggles his eyebrows. "Gonna hold my pinky in the air and everything."

"I'm drenched in sweat and," Keith angles to spy himself in the mirror, "yep, I look pale and sick as hell, no wonder you thought I was gonna vomit. You on the other hand," Keith points to Lance, "are a broad-shouldered, long legged, gorgeous fucking vision and you fucking _glow_ when you sweat. How is that fair?"

Lance pulls Keith off of the counter and maneuvers him to face the mirror, pointing his head directly at his own reflection. "And you are driving me _insane_ because you somehow have softer hair than mine and I know I call out your mullet (and it's still dumb) but my god it's like _silk_ and you have no idea how much I want to lick every inch of sweat off you because your skin feels amazing under my mouth and I wanna just rip your boxers off with my teeth and make the tips of your ears go red because it's the best thing I've ever _seen_."

Lance sighs. "As weaknesses go, you're pretty much the best kind to have."

Keith shakes his head. "I better plan a damn classy dinner." He lets himself fall against Lance, who wraps arms around his torso, swaying him slightly. "You make me feel weak in the right way. I even kind of like it when you carry me around."

Lance lets out a victorious whoop and spins Keith around into a fireman's carry, giving him another breath-stealing kiss.

 

**

 

They're still talking in-between kisses. The room is how Keith likes it, ice cold, and Lance doesn't seem to mind as long as Keith allows him to steal his body heat. They've settled with Lance on his back and Keith draped over him like a blanket.

"He'll be coming for you, Lance," Keith says, threading his fingers through Lance's hair. It's still a bit damp from sweat but it's softening and curling slightly at the edges. "If he gets out."

"He'll come for us both." Lance nods. "Probably you first. I did outsmart him, after all."

Keith raises an eyebrow. "But that's what bad guys do," Lance continues. "It's what we signed up for."

Keith pulls Lance closer. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Before Lance can respond, the lights go from dim to bright, signaling the end of the sleep cycle.

They stare at each other.

"Did we?"

"Forget to go to sleep?"

Lance starts laughing, and Keith follows, melting closer into Lance's skin to muffle it.

"We gotta work on that," Lance says.

Keith nods and lifts his head. "Next time after every poignant moment of self-revelation, we power nap."

Lance claps his hands together, "It's a plan! I love it."

Keith makes a satisfied sound and nuzzles Lance's neck, placing small, soft kisses there.

_I love it._

 

**

 

"My bags have bags under them," Lance moans, looking at his eyes in a reflective section of the wall. "I hate this. I miss cucumbers so much, Keith."

Keith smiles. "I need some of that pseudo space caffeine that Hunk discovered."

"Bless him and bless his pure soul." Lance stops, his tone shifting. "If he sees me like this he's gonna try to throw his cheer in my face."

"And?"

Lance takes a deep breath. "I will have to retaliate. You'll see. I can be cranky when I don't have my 8.5 hours."

Keith kisses him quickly on the cheek and squeezes his hand. "Just getting it in before you turn all cranky and try to bite me."

Lance smiles. "Did that anyway." He runs his finger over a particularly red hickey on Keith's neck. Keith zips his jacket up quickly and Lance takes a few steps ahead, laughing.

Lance holds the door for him, giving Keith a slight bow. "After you," he murmurs. Keith shakes his head and walks in, taking a seat next to Shiro. He sees Hunk looking at Lance intensely, just as predicted. Lance stares back, his posture open and waiting.

A smile settles on Hunk's face. "Good morning sunshine!" he shouts in a sing-song voice. Hunk beams at Lance.

"How _dare_ you," Lance says, pulling up a chair next to him as Hunk smiles back even harder. "You heard me, and you know what you said, how very _dare_ you, Hunk-Hunkley VonHunkenstein. I will have swift and vicious revenge." Lance threatens Hunk with a fork.

"That's not my name and you know it," Hunk says as Pidge giggles.

"Hunkberly Hunkdashian, you shut it and let me eat in peace so I can go de-puff and plan my _swift and vicious revenge_ on you." Hunk smiles and nods, approving of his nickname. Lance turns his fork to Pidge. "And don't even start with me Piffany Pidgerson-Smith."

"When did I marry someone named Smith?" Pidge eggs him on. "And why wasn't Hunk invited to the wedding?"

"Why are you secretly marrying off Pidge without inviting us?" Hunk says, throwing his arms around Pidge's shoulders. "Oh my god we missed Shiro crying while he walked her down the aisle, how could you!"

"You dare marry me off and they're not even Jewish? My mom will be so upset. Are they a doctor at least?" Pidge slams her fists on the table.

"Quiet, Pidgermione… Epstein-Grossmeyer. Fuck, I'm too tired for this. Let me eat and die and bury me with cucumber slices please lord," Lance mumbles as Coran starts passing around breakfast.

Keith snorts and before he can serve himself Allura snatches his plate away. "Sorry Keith, you'll need to head to the medical bay for some additional tests. It's best if you fast until then."

"Another round of bloodwork?" Keith sighs at her, rolling his sleeves up and showing his arms to her. "I'm running out of veins, Allura."

"I doubt that's possible," Allura looks to Shiro for a confirming nod. "Regardless, from what I've been told about the human immune system, toxic elements are filtered through a few of your internal organs. We have to make sure we monitor your blood toxicity levels and check them for any signs of permanent damage."

"I'm not all human though," Keith whines as he stares at the food being shoveled into Lance's mouth. Lance gives him a sympathetic look, or as best as he can muster with his face stuffed.

"You have a liver and kidneys. You're going," Shiro says, crossing his arms.

"Fine, whatever. You're a vampire and you're enabling her to be a vampire," Keith says to Allura and Shiro respectively. Keith crosses his arms back in defiance.

"A vom-pie-ruh?" Allura asks.

"It's a bloodsucking creature with sparkling skin and the supernatural ability to make spinoffs for people who spend way too much money on questionable softcore pornography," Lance explains.

Hunk snorts so hard that food goo comes out of his nose. "Ha! Swift and vicious!" Lance punches his fist in the air in triumph.

 

**

 

"So I know Allura said I should be fasting but um, I have to warn you, I really didn't sleep last night," Keith rubs his neck, feeling the puncture wounds from the other day, as well as the lingering bruises left from Lance. "I'm pretty sure if you stick me, I'll pass out."

"I'll be as gentle to you as a newborn Star-Cleef," Coran says softly. "They have transparent skin and enlarged heads that can snap like twigs if you hold them wrong."

"…Why do you make the goriest things sound cheerful?" Keith asks as he slips off his jacket.

"It's just my–oh my," Coran stares at Keith. "Were you up all night being attacked by one of those 'wam-plier' things?"

Keith blinks, then remembers the hickeys Lance left behind. "Shit!" he grabs his neck with both hands. "No! Well, um, no! I, uh." Keith drops his hands. "Okay this is stupid. Please don't tell anyone, not that we're keeping it a secret it's just I don't really want to blast it out over the castle loudspeakers and Shiro already knows and he's gonna give me crap about it forever."

Coran mimes zipping his mouth shut. "I shall be a paragon of confidence should you entrust this to me."

Keith smiles. "Um. Lance. Lance did this." Keith gestures to his neck. "Last night. Instead of sleeping. We um," Keith clears his throat, "I mean I did some too, just not where you can see."

Coran processes the information, "Ah. Well, that's excellent. I did notice the both of you have stopped outward hostilities these past few weeks."

"It hasn't been–"

"And I'm sure the whole ordeal with Lotor, watching the one you hold dearest in danger! Must have been a wonderful reconciliation!"

"Coran, we just–"

Coran drops his voice. "Shiro did tell you about the, erm, prophylactics that we have in case of situations like this? He was rather puzzled by how they work, but I can demonstrate for you on a bottle. My word, the Red and Blue paladins of my day used to go through them like–"

"Coran!" Keith shouts. "We haven't–Look we won't need them for, for now," Keith says, resigned to his fate.

"I see. Well, just tell me when you do!" Coran says with a nod before humming quietly to himself. "Someone's got those Moon Eyes…" he says grabbing a few medical instruments. "Arms out please."

Keith blinks but does as Coran asks, allowing his scanner access. "Moon eyes?"

Coran stills, "Well," he coughs. "It's a rather old expression, I'm not sure the ship's translators are filtering it right. That's fine, now turn your head?"

Keith does as Coran examines each ear. "No, no I've heard it before. Just," Keith pauses, "you made it sound like a song. Like it's a good thing."

Coran snaps his fingers. "Well of course it's a good thing! It's a love song! What could be better than that?"

Keith looks down on the floor, focusing on a single tile. "The way it was described to me, it didn't sound _good_. I mean all that stuff about fire and dust and… It sounded more like a tragic love, like something that destroys you."

Coran rubs his chin. "Fire and dust, well it's a fragment of it. I mean, I heard it after a few centuries of being translated back and forth from ancient Galran and Altean. I was told it used to rhyme in the original text!"

Coran steeples his fingers together and clears his throat, "Now, if I remember correctly, it went something like this:

"As you look upon the one you love, it looks as if they can pull the moon from the sky and present it to you. Open your mouth, the stars threaten fall, and so kiss them shut against your love. If the fire on your tongue burns too bright for your love to ignore, they will hold you until it cools.

"When the world breaks away into fragments and dust, your love will rebuild it twice as strong. Know this, and know that everything you believe of your love, they believe of you. Build your world to be twice as strong at their side."

Coran bows as he finishes with a flourish.

 

**

 

Keith does manage to get through the exam without passing out, and Coran forces him to have a huge plate of food after to replenish his strength. He feels full and tired and his legs are heavy weights again. Keith turns the final hallway towards his room and sees Lance sitting outside his door, his head pillowed in his arms and eyes shut.

Keith leans against the wall. "You asleep?"

"Mmmaybe." Lance hums and opens his eyes. "I was trying to stay awake. Just wanted to make sure everything's okay with my uh," Lance ducks his head, "my guy, here. You." He clicks his tongue and gives Keith a wink and a pointed finger.

"Everything's okay." Keith nods. "I mean I had to endure a safe sex talk from Coran while he force fed me so I wouldn't faint. Then he demonstrated how Altean condoms work and I didn't even gag once." Keith cracks his knuckles. "I can take on anything."

"Uh huh?" Lance smirks. "That why you haven't moved from that spot on the wall?"

"It's a comfortable spot. And I like the view," Keith says swaying slightly.

"Betcha the bed is way more comfortable."

"Hmm."

"And the view is even better. I'll have you know I sleep like an adorable kitten."

"It's an enticing offer. I do like kittens." Keith pushes himself off the wall and walks towards Lance.

Lance smiles and stands, meeting Keith with a kiss as he falls against him. "Okay I know we're trying to be all flirty and stuff but I'm literally about to pass out I am so tired," Keith says.

"Yes, lord almighty, it is time for bed and we're going to mine I need you in my bed it's very important," Lance says, punctuating his sentences between kisses. "Bed. Keith. Keith in bed. Keith in my bed and then maybe I get him into a cold bath with me but first we sleep for 100 years and we steal those Altean condoms when no one's looking."

"We have a plan," Keith says against Lance's lips. "I love it."

 

**

 


	3. the bones in your closet, a love story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue of sorts where Lance teases a bit much, and Keith has a bone or two to pick with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know canon may diverge, but everyone that is participating is aged-up of consent and I pretend they're all 19.
> 
> There is a slight hint of Shiro/Allura in this chapter, please do not continue if you don't wish to see that.
> 
> (Also I watch way too much Brooklyn Nine-Nine and it shows up here.)

 

 

**

 

"So this is?" Shiro asks as Keith enters his room with an armful of blankets and pillows. Keith ignores the question at first, dropping his spare linens on Shiro's floor and arranging them into a more familiar shape.

"Future site of the Keith Kogane 'sorta-couch' dent of moaning about how awesome my boyfriend is," Keith says as he flops face-down onto his creation and sighs contentedly.

"I get that. But why does it have to be in my room?" Shiro asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"In honor of Matt, it's not the same unless I take over a piece of your personal space and claim it as my own," Keith says, shifting into a more comfortable position, punching the pillows into shape.

"In honor of Matt, I should stick your hand in warm water when you fall asleep."

Keith takes a deep breath and sits up with his head in his hands. "Shiro, my boyfriend is so awesome. Is it too soon to buy him that dinner? I want to lick his face off. And suck his dick. But not at the same time, although I'm sure he's flexible enough to. He's so _bendy_. Did you see him this morning when he showed Pidge that he can put his whole fist in his mouth without gagging? I had to yell at him, because how the hell am I supposed sit through an entire meal with that knowledge?!"

"I'm very happy for you both." Shiro settles on the edge of his bed and folds his arms. "But you do realize I'm not letting you leave here without taking lots and lots of condoms."

"Okay, this is starting to bug me, why _do_ you have lots and lots of condoms in here?" Keith hears a small cough from the other side of Shiro's room and turns towards it. "Oh, hey Allura. Didn't see you there."

Allura waves at him meekly from the far corner. "Hello Keith. Congratulations on Lance being… bendy?"

 

**

 

"Henry Hank 'Hunk' McCoy. Pidgeabella." Lance nods at the both of them gathered in his room. "Keith and I are officially dating. I hope you both realize what this means."

Pidge and Hunk exchange a look of worry.

"Does it mean you're bringing back the Garrison rules of Lance's not-at-all-crazy obsession with Keith?" Hunk says, Pidge sighs.

"Yes, I am bringing back the Garrison rules of whatever-whatever. Which state that I get to complain excessively about Keith while either one or both of you pet my head and comfort me. Only I'm going to be complaining about how amazing he is and coming up with plans to get one up on him."

"To be fair, that's what I thought you used to do in the first place," Pidge says, taking off her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Yes, but I'm going to be complaining about what an amazing _boyfriend_ he is and coming up with plans to get him to fall madly in love with me forever." Lance sits next to Hunk and puts his head on his shoulder. "It's completely different. On many deep and meaningful levels of… _meaning._ "

"We know buddy," Hunk says, patting Lance on the head.

"So very different," Pidge says. "Buy him knives?"

Hunk adds, "Make him dinner?"

"Oh! I can give him the knives at dinner. It's a _thematic_ present. I like where this is going." Lance smiles. "By the way, I'm not allowed to shove my fist in my mouth or show you how double jointed I am in public anymore. Sorry, Pidge."

Pidge rolls her eyes. "Oh no, woe is me… Keith called you a tease, didn't he?"

"That was one of the words used, yes. I'm not allowed to repeat the exact statement unless you have adult supervision present."

Pidge slides her glasses back on. "Aha. So he called you a _fucking_ cock tease?"

Hunk shakes with laughter as Lance gasps in shock, clutching his chest. "Pidge, Pidgina-Pidgerella-Pidgellison! How very dare you speak to me that way?!"

"Well maybe try not being a cock tease and _bone_ your boyfriend already?" Pidge yells.

"I'm fucking _trying_ !" Lance yells back. "We keep getting interrupted by talking about our _feelings_. It's the worst thing ever," Lance sighs, "never fall in love, Pidgeroni."

"I shall forever reject that reality and substitute my own," Pidge says. "You've nothing to fear."

Hunk pokes Lance's shoulder, grabbing his attention. "She's right though. Go bone him. You'll feel better."

Lance makes a startled choking sound as he pulls away from Hunk.

"I'm serious! You both put in your dues moping over each other. Go have consensual boning and put a pin in this already. We have a universe to defend!" Hunk sighs, "I know you know I'm right because you haven't said anything sarcastic or given me a nickname in like, 30 seconds which is a new record for you."

Lance closes his mouth and leans back on Hunk's shoulder. "You really think I'm teasing him?"

"You really think he needed to be in the same room when you decided to show me that your tongue is long enough that you can lick your elbow?" Pidge adds.

"Point taken."

 

**

 

Keith is forced out of Shiro's room with a literal armful of Altean condoms and other things both Shiro and Allura deemed necessary, which included bottles of an oil-based lubricant that was non-toxic for human consumption. Keith suppresses a shudder and makes a beeline for his room, smacking right into someone and dropping everything on the floor.

Keith braces himself and looks up, sighs in relief that the universe has finally given him a break and it _isn't_ Lance.

"Sorry Keith!" Hunk says, "let me help you with that."

"No no no, I've got it!" Keith tries to wave him away and stills when he sees Hunk focus in on the items he was carrying.

"Whoa," Hunk breathes out, holding up a very long-necked green bottle with two suggestive spheres at the base. "Um, this is a lot of–"

"Shiro gave them to me!" Keith practically screams as he snatches it out of Hunk's hand. "I mean, Coran gave them to him, and Allura too! And um, oh lord. This isn't making it sound any better, is it?"

Keith isn't expecting Hunk to grab him by the shoulders with huge smile on his face and shout, "Keith! No, this is great! You and Lance!" Hunk shakes him back and forth. "Oh my gosh, please tell me you two are gonna have sex?"

Before Keith can react beyond swallowing down an embarrassed squeak, Pidge interrupts, peering around Hunk to look at what's on the floor.

"Oh yeah, all signs point to _bone_ ," Pidge says grabbing the bottle and adjusts her glasses to read the label.

"Keith," he turns to meet her eyes. Pidge hands him the bottle back with a bow, as if she was handing over a sacred object, "Take Lance to bone-town. You have our blessing–nay, we _demand_ you bone him but good."

"Please, _please_ stop saying 'bone'," Keith groans, "and this is just, stuff I needed." Keith quickly fills his arms once again full of his wonderfully embarrassing Altean prophylactics and lubricants.

"Gotta go bye," Keith leaves with a nod.

"Go get 'em!" Hunk shouts and Pidge cheers as Keith runs to his room.

 

**

 

"Am I cock-teasing you?" Lance asks the moment Keith opens his door, worrying his index finger in his mouth. Lance looks down at where Keith's eyes are focusing and quickly pulls his finger out of his mouth with a pop. He hides both of his hands behind his back, standing up straight as he can.

Keith blinks. "Hello, Lance," he says, stepping aside so Lance can enter his room.

"I didn't mean to," Lance says, pulling his shirt off quickly and sitting on Keith's bed, untying his shoelaces. "I _really_ like you, and I want you to know that. I don't want to tease you or leave you feeling, I dunno, unfulfilled?"

Keith nods, locking the door. "Ah. So you want to _fulfill_ me."

Lance's head starts to swim. "Keith!" he squawks, his face starting to heat up, he buries his head in his hands and groans.

"I mean, I'm good with that," Keith says with a shrug, removing his shirt and tossing it aside to join Lance's on the floor. "Did you want to now?"

Lance drops his arms and looks at Keith. "C'mere," he murmurs and Keith gets close. Lance pulls him in until Keith falls on top of him and Lance can bury his face in Keith's neck, breathing deep.

"I want to. Part of me does want to just do it so we can be _done_ and it's stupid because first times with someone don't always have to be special or magical or _whatever_ , but also," Lance feels hesitation bubbling up. Keith rubs his shoulders, trying to ease the tension he feels building there.

"I don't want to force it. It's gonna happen when it's gonna happen. I'm not feeling impatient or desperate or anything." Lance squeezes Keith closer, smiling as he takes Keith's face in his hands. "I like us right now. I like us figuring this out along the way. I like falling asleep and waking up next to you and flirting with you and teasing..." Lance drifts off.

Keith waits for a few moments before asking, "Lance?"

"Fuck! I _like_ teasing you. Pidge was right. You were right. I'm a cock tease." Lance's eyes are wide with realization.

Keith nods, kisses him on the lips until Lance falls back on the bed, and Keith finds his familiar place with his head pillowed on Lance's chest. "Yeah, but I really don't care. I just don't want to hear Pidge say 'bone' ever again. Make that happen, and you can tease me all you want."

"Oooh, I am so cracking my knuckles next time she's trying to eat. Sneakily and slowly, 'Tell-Tale Heart'-style. It'll drive her _nuts_."

Keith laughs, wrapping his arms around Lance's neck.

"Regardless of what happens, you can rest easy with the knowledge that I've been given way too many condoms, and not wanting to keep them all in one place, I've strategically hidden caches of them everywhere in this room. We are wholly incapable of being caught unprepared for sex on any flat surface in here," Keith beams with pride.

"Okay now I just kind of want to find them all," Lance gives Keith his best sultry smile, "it's like a sexy easter egg hunt."

Keith chuckles softly. "Please don't, you also know about my penchant for hiding potential weapons and sharp objects? I wouldn't want you accidentally stabbing yourself."

"So it's a sexy and _dangerous_ easter egg hunt? Well played, Kogane," Lance raises an eyebrow and does his best terrible Sean Connery impression. "The game is afoot!"

Keith laughs until there are tears in the corners of his eyes.

 

**

 

It's early when Keith wakes up, not quite yet the morning cycle, but early enough that he still feels tired, dreamlike.

They've shifted quite a bit in the night, and are down to just boxers, Lance is still sleeping on his back, holding Keith's hand to his chest.

Keith feels Lance's heartbeat pick up slightly when Lance opens his eyes and turns to him with a smile. He squeezes his hand tight, gripping Lance's hand in his.

It's slow and then fast. First just a kiss and then Keith is straddling Lance's hips and he feels _him_. Keith stills and clicks his tongue.

Lance presses his mouth shut tight, he's torn between laughing and groaning in frustration, "Okay you got me, so that is a _literal_ tease of cock. I think the universe hates me, Keith."

"Universe hates us both," Keith says as he shifts his hips down, pressing himself against Lance. "Feeling special and magical or whatever?"

Lance bites his lip, "Maybe a little?"

"A little? Choose your words carefully, McClain," Keith reaches under his pillow, "rotten tease."

"Please don't be a knife, oh shit is that?" Lance looks at what Keith has pulled from his hiding spot.

"It's lube. And yes, I know what the bottle looks like."

"So you also think it looks like the Incredible Hulk's dildo?"

"Why would the Incredible Hulk want a dildo that looks like his own dick?"

Lance sits up with a laugh, "Oh my god. _Keith._ " Lance tilts Keith's chin forward and kisses him deep, pulling back and looking into his eyes with perfect devotion. "No moment will ever be more special or magical than right fucking _now_ , can we _please_ do it for the first time while we talk about what superheroes would use for sex toys?"

Keith smiles, taking Lance's hands in his own. "I don't think there's any possible way I could say 'no' to that."

 

**

 

"You are the greatest boyfriend in the universe and I will spend every waking moment trying to get on your level, somehow," Lance says, his voice raw.

Keith curls his fingers into Lance's hair, impossibly soft and smelling of weird space lube and sweat and, well like _Keith_.

"How do you do that?"

"Mmm?"

"How does your hair always smell so _good_ , even after–?"

Lance pulls Keith closer, "It really doesn't smell that great. You probably just have a huge crush on me or something."

Keith squeezes his eyes shut, picturing that first day at the Garrison. The laughing boy in front of him with the softest hair and the warmest smile, "Probably."

"Like, how I have this crush on this brooding, quietly brilliant, lone-wolf type that hides knives for fun and makes the cutest pouty faces. He's made me go absolutely _crazy_ for him, and now want to throw my pants off at the sound of his voice."

Keith isn't sure how to respond, his breath catches in his throat and Lance yawns. Keith opens his eyes to see him sleeping soundly.

He whispers his answer into Lance's ear.

 

**

 

_Love, I would pull the moon from the sky if you wanted it._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read. This is the first thing I've written for fandom in YEARS so I do appreciate it. :D


End file.
